i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
a dentist
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
go talk to ya other hoes
Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.
wait… if you have social anxiety… and i have social anxiety…
then who’s going to order the food?
25 things i wish i realized while i was still in highschool
The Devil is real. And he’s not a little red man with horns and a tail. He can be beautiful. ‘Cause he’s a fallen angel, and he used to be God’s favorite.
Men aren’t stupid, and you don’t need a complicated set of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here’s the only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything he can to keep you around. Anything.
i wanna make grilled cheese w you at 2 am, i wanna take you out on cute dinner dates and buy you dumb cute stuffed animals. i wanna love you like nobody else ever has and i also wanna fuck you until you’re shaking.
me n the kids
kids: where does the sun go at night?
me: where ever the fuck it wants, who the fuck are you
(via slobble-ya-diddly)
cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you
me: yeah he was not very friendly
(via slobble-ya-diddly)
The hours between 12am and 6am
have a funny habit of making you feel
like you’re either on top of the world,
or under it.
have a funny habit of making you feel
like you’re either on top of the world,
or under it.